A Quick
of the

Dan is a dedicated individual, not just to Enigmata, but also to the random strangulations that random strangers are "blessed" with. He works hard on Enigmata (employing ONLY half a dozen blind Guatemalans in his various sweat-shops).

He was born to a mother who was (until her tragic death during "that fission" problem) and Arab terrorist, international banker (come, on, you know what conspiracy this has to do with...), grand soviet of the Poughkeepsie Communist party and the Walla Walla Polka Queen of 1982. His father is a man (allegedly). Dan grew up in random crack houses where he learned "proper accounting" (the grand jury STILL can't prove a d**n thing!).

Dan's philosophy towards Enigmata, and in a broaders sense, literature and art in general is best shown through a recent quote of his: "I wants lotsa necrophilia, snakes, torture, eggplants...and of course, the Enigma Go-go Dance!"

Dan currently is wanted in 49 states plus D.C. (it's actually a funny story involving the Secret Service, Chelsea Clinton, &c.)


NOTA BENE!--The above is a parody only! Do really think you would so easily find out the true and near infinite depths of the most high and glorious (not to mention humble) Daniel B. Rego (a.k.a. Commodore Swizzlebottom)

     Enigmata is the allegedly periodic publication of Enigma, the Science Fiction, Fantasy and Gaming Club of UCLA. The individual submissions remain property of the respective authors. The collection is the property of the editor for the time it takes a coconut laden swallow to migrate to Arthurian Britain, at which time it shall be transferred to such person as the president of Enigma may choose, but only for a really silly reason, allegedly.
     Send all submissions to [Address removed at request of editor], or just bring it to the meeting.




Café au Laut by Rebecca Strong
Uncle Nasty's Sadistic Puzzle Page by Mike Tice
Killing Time by Tom Kennedy
Serendipity by Mike Tice
Fairfolk by Alex Epstein
Group Story Writing by Various Enigmans


Inspiration From a Wasteland by Dory Schachner
Facets of Glass by Dory Schachner
Another Wasteland by Dory Schachner
A Premature Yet Inevitable Eulogy by Mike Tice


Dory Schachner           11, 13, 17, 24
Daniel B. Rego           1
19th Century Art Possessed by Satan           2, 6, 7, 12, 14, 31, 32
Gold Plaque on Pioneer 10           30


*           Any similarity between any character herein depicted and a Coconut Laden Swallow is purely coincidental.


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